veritasaequitas's Blog

I've had an uneventful summer thus far.  Can't complain too much, given it's not flying by.  

Been over a month since my last blog.  Don't have much to comment on other than gaining an additional roommate, and permanently losing another, seeing as the couple broke up.  

Dog sat for about a week for my mom.  We had fun with her with the exception of her getting into our trash and her chewing one of my toothbrushes.  

Yeah, like I said.  Slow slow slow.  

Had my last exam this past thursday.  Summer is officially here.  It was over before it began, or so it felt.  One more year and I'm done.  

Got a raise at work today.  Can't complain there.  Also overheard a draining conversation about how relationships and this bullshit we call love make you happier and noticeably so.  My question is why do people deal with the bullshit?

I used to daydream about devices that we have today.  For instance, Zelda the Ocarina of time on a handheld, and smartphones.  It's amazing how dreams manifest.  Maybe more amazing how the future comes at you fast and these fantasies somehow become realities.  

Now I just have 2 finals to do and I'm done.  It will be kind of nice to be done for the summer.  I have three classes next semester, 2 more the following, and I'm officially done with my bachelors.  And just a shade under a decade.  I know a lot of people go to school for 7 years, they're called doctors.  :)  Yeah, I pulled a fucking Tommy Boy with 3 additional years due to a school switch and a few major changes but I'm wrapping it up.  Then it's on to paying back student loans.  

Luckily my roommates have dropped the getting me hitched conversations.  I think my displayed lack of interest has dropped their lack of interest in trying to introduce me to people (they never brought anyone over) so I'm in the clear there.  I saw some extended family for the first time in years last week, and luckily despite bringing up my sisters relationships, no one asks me about dating anymore because I think they realize now nothing is going on there.  I'm happy about this and that I don't have to talk about it to anyone.  They don't ask me about my non-existent social life either so that's just as dandy.  I still wonder what's going through their heads though.  Just as far as what they think of the situation.  Nothing has gone according to plan for a long time now, and I've done everything completely different than all of them.  I'm probably a bit of a weirdo to them that I do everything to avoid everyone instead of chasing after women I know I can't have and actually doing things with people every now and then.  But I don't tell them about that anyway because no one asks so it works out ok.

Had two crappyish nights at work riddled with call offs and people not forming lines and just swarming the counters.  Fucking animals I tell you.  These call off are already getting old.  Blahhh.

I'd like to sincerely thank you for screwing America out of Hostess products permanently (such as wonderbread, twinkies, ho hos, etc.), and more importantly, thank you for screwing the rest of the company out of their jobs because your bullshit needs weren't met, not to mention damaging the economy further (more people looking for jobs), oh yeah and those poor people a couple of years from retirement that you screwed over as well.  You could have looked for work elsewhere, but instead you ruin it for everyone.  You stand outside your job which you're lucky to have in the first place like a god damn 8 year old refusing to work, and now everyone loses.  You are piss poor excuses for human beings, and I hope no one hires your sorry asses ever again.  Yes, America will live without the Hostess brand, and there are more important things to bitch about than this, such as people starving elsewhere, but this could have been avoided.  You want to make a smart ass comment to me trying to justify yourself go right ahead.  If you had been getting a fair wage to begin with without the union jacking it up to ridiculous levels, they probably wouldn't have made the cuts to begin with.  I hope you're happy.

Yes, unions have made the American working experience better, and there are reasonable unions, but this is absolute bullshit.  Yes, I'm sure there were other factors, such as poor management that weren't helping matters, but they could have worked things out and kept going.  And by the way, I'm 5'5 and roughly 125 pounds, so you can't make any fat ass jokes towards me that will offend me.  

Bought it last night and watched it tonight.  It's a movie where I relate to the main character on a number of levels, except for the fact that it's a movie filled with cliches that don't ever come true in real life.  I'm having a hard time feeling that people like this exist to people like Charlie.  The whole notion of friendship and being with the people you love most outside of your own family members is becoming an alien concept for me because it never works out like it does in the movies.  It hasn't worked like that in years for me.  That support system that Charlie found never presented itself to me, and it just seems weird now seeing it happen and them actually become friends and doing things together.  The whole freshman guy senior girl thing seems a little strange too.  That's an awfully big gap for a set of high school kids.  But what would I know never being down that road.  I feel like I'm losing it sometimes.  It took me a fucking hour after I got up to brush my teeth and get dressed because I kept zoning out worried about my car amongst other issues happening as of now.  My car is good now, but I was having brake issues last night which are corrected now thanks to some fluid.

Me not telling my parents things about my high school experience is another place where I relate to Charlie.  Things didn't work out at all in any way shape or form, and nothing went according to my child hood plans.  But I lied to my family and told them things were ok and that I was meeting people and yada yada yada and graduated and went to college.  Nothing has worked out there either.  Honestly, if I could go back to my high school days knowing my first college wasn't going to work out, I would have decked a couple people.  

Seeing as my dads girlfriend has been harassing me for sometime now I recently blocked her number, which pissed her off pretty drastically.  I guess she was bitching to my sister about it who didn't want to hear it.  She's basically lost her last element of control, not that she had any anyway as of late, and she's more pissed now that she has no control over unblocking it because it's my own phone plan.  I guess she was telling my sister how I was being childish which I find hilarious given she hasn't acted like an adult since I've known her so I'm not taking that one seriously.  She's been treating everyone like shit for over a decade so I don't know what she expects.  

Got an oil change today.  Nothing exciting there.  Got some food at a mexican joint across the street from the valvoline I got my change done at which wasn't bad.  Not as good as this other place I like to go but enjoyable regardless.  

Thats about all I have.  

So my sister invited me out for a beer last night, and it ended up being a beer and a shot, leaving me a little on the tipsy side.  Didn't really have a hangover this morning so it was ok.  Ran into some people that I didn't know that she did, who mostly ignored me, which isn't any surprise to me.  Story of my fucking life.  Luckily alcohol increases the deficit of giving a shit which is why it's my only and best friend.  :)  

Looking at around 400 for the car for an axle, a transmission flush, and a range sensor.  I'm relieved to hear that, because I don't have to have the transmission replaced, which would have probably cost me 2 grand after labor.  

Trippy ass dream this morning.  So I'm out at my moms, and her and my stepdad are screaming at each other over something.  I walk out to the backyard to find several of my stepdads guns laying around.  I pull something on the gun and to my unpleasant surprise, it discharges, but doesn't hit me or anything else.  I turn around to see a flatbed truck carrying burning tree trunk sized logs.  Several of the logs fall off the truck leaving the road blocked.  The next vehicle to come down the road was if I remember correctly a van spinning out.  Next is essentially a several vehicle pile up, involving busses and a lot of people.  Two busses collide and all the people kind of smash together.  I remember very vividly a woman being grabbed by the throat so she could be saved, and people screaming at me to call 911.  I tell them that I will in a panicked voice and I also tell them to hang in there.  That's when I woke up.  Trippy ass shit to say the least.  

Hoping my car is done before work tomorrow.  I have a ride if it isn't, but I wanna be done with the latest car drama. Not going to class though, because I won't have a ride for that.  Luckily I don't skip very often.  

Spring fever seems to be setting in in my area.  It's been getting warmer, but I'm not quite ready to commit to shorts yet.  I'll see people in shorts and a t-shirt when it's effing 50 degrees out, and I'm still in a damn coat.  Whatever works for you I guess.

Blahhhhh, that's enough nonsensical speak for the evening methinks.  

Saw the new Evil Dead today.  It was really good.  Not that scary, really bloody, but a lot of cool scenes.  The blood and gore doesn't bother me, but it doesn't do anything for me really.  The thing that made it less scary was that the dipshit that started it all have  to cut a book wrapped in plastic out of barb wire to open it.  Despite all the warnings, he read the text and unleashed this scary ass demon like thing that got his friend.  It was a good movie, but seeing as stupidity is required to get to where they were, the scary edge was taken off.  

Having transmission issues.  I'm not thrilled.  I'm hoping a fluid flush will fix it because its smelling burned and it's brown, but we'll see.  The cost of the repairs in total will in all likelihood cost most than I paid for the car if it's not just the fluid.  

Started really playing the Minish Cap.  It was free as a 3DS ambassador, and given I just finished links awakening DX (a game I played in grade school) I decided to give the minish cap a more thorough glance.  It is awesome so far.  It's an older game, but I hadn't played it until I got it for free and it's a fresh taste of Zelda for me.  Gotta love that.  

Feeling really fucking detached lately.  More than usual anyway.  I have no idea why.  

Lost a roommate kind of.  He moved out and is here periodically in that he's dating the other roommate, but they can't handle living together anymore I guess.  

Blahhhhh  

A little class, a little work, thats about it.  Bought a CD called Xasthur off of a guy from work which was pretty sweet.  Also bought Zelda Links Awakening DX, Mega Man 1 and 2, and some solitaire package for my DS tonight.  I used to love Mega Man when I was little, as well as the Zelda game.  

Nothing else going on really.  Just same shit different day.  

Lost a roommate.  He's still with the other roommate, they just can't handle living together right now I guess.  I don't know anything about that shit.  

Been moving reeeeally slowly in the mornings and showing up a little late for class way more than I like to.  Starting tomorrow I'm getting up a half an hour earlier because I'm clearly incapable of moving my ass.  

It's been two fucking years now since my dads girlfriend called the police on him and she is still with him. They were supposed to break up then permanently. She's still here. And absolutely nothing has changed. I'm starting to lose it.

Despite the fact I don't have to work tomorrow, I opted not to go out with my roommates and two of their friends despite the conversation me and the one friend of theirs had yesterday.  I was having a really bad feeling about it, and after consulting the pendulum and it telling me it was a bad idea, I opted to heed my instinct.  I'm really not into the kind of place they were going to (club).  I feel like it would have ended bad.  Blahhhh

Last day of my mini vacation is tomorrow.  Had 6 days off which was kind of nice despite the deficit of moolah.  

The skyrim saga continues.  Finished the Meridia beacon quest today.  That sorcerer with the ghost looking things was a fucking bitch.  I had to fight the fucker repeatedly for about 45 minutes before I finally beat his ass.  I basically had to draw him into a tighter space and go savage on his ass because if you give him too much space he casts this spell that killed me (at a measly level 13) pretty much instantly.  Get him cornered however and it's not as hard.  However, when you kill him his ghost or something appears and starts slinging shit at you.  That fucker killed me right after I killed him once because I turned my back to his corpse unaware it was coming and died.  I was a little pissed.  But after a little persistance and some savage kitteh axe of whiterun smashing I was able to beat him (my character is a khajit hence the goofy name kitteh).  Got a nifty sword from meridia as a reward too.  Good times mayne, good times.  

Just received a lecture about how I should start branching out and looking for people.  This one was a little more in depth than some previous ones that involved more input on my part.  I just listened and agreed, and the speaker implied that this would pick up later.  Whatever.  A couple weeks ago we were having a small get together for a tv show viewing and all of my sisters and their respective significant others were there, me obviously being the only one that is still single.  Part of this was a little draining, but when you're told that they need to help find you someone it's even more draining to me.  I already know it's hopeless, so theres no need to press the issue.  

This is getting really fucking old.  But it's not going away.  I don't know what else to do.  

Roads were semi shitty today.  They weren't terrible, but it's an uncomfortable feeling when you have to hit your brakes and your car starts to veer to the right.  Luckily I got to class and home ok.  My car is a boss in the snow.

Noticed a girl eyeballing me periodically in class today.  She's been doing it a lot since the beginning of the semester.  I feel like this is a reoccurring pattern.  The problem I'm having is growing a set of fucking balls and saying hello.  Seems like every semester there is one class with one girl that sits by me most days and stares or eyeballs me frequently.  I'm still yet to waste my time trying to meet anyone, so pursuing a dating situation is out of the question.  I've said it a million times, I'm not interested in competition, or rejection, and the easiest way to avoid that is by avoiding everyone all together.  Easy enough.  It's become second nature to me now.  

Went and saw Hansel and Gretel today.  It was really good.  It could have been a little better, but I was thoroughly impressed with it.  It was somewhat unrealistic (given the accent and dialects spoken were comparable to modern society instead of that time period), but as far as the witches go it's a healthy combination of the traditional wand wielding broom riding witches and some interesting shape shifting like abilities, as well as some interesting types of witches, and some interesting spells cast.  These witches were more monster in nature, instead of more human like, with the exception of (spoiler alert!) the good witches.  As I said, unrealistic, but it's a fiction story so that's ok.  It was an interesting take and extension on a classic fairytale.

The skyrim hook continues.  That game is amazing.  Seeing as I have a house in whiterun now, money isn't much of an issue, so I joined the imperial legion in solitude, as well as continuing the dragon quests with Delphine since by taking a more subtle approach to the Thalmor institue mission (sneaking around a little more instead of going in axe swinging) I was able to complete it and escape.  At the end of that mission, of course you escape into a cavern like thing, and of course theres a fucking frost troll there to try to lay you out.  It was a small cave, but I was able to toast the bastard briefly and run past him, escaping into the main field.  It's a huge game, and it's a lot of fun if you like compelling story lines, and huge open worlds that you're essentially free to explore.  There are missions as I said, but you can do them as you please, and come back to them if you get stuck or frustrated or bored or whatever.  One of my things is collecting armor.  Every time I'm involved in a fight of some sort, I generally strip the fallen enemy of his armor and weapons (you can search dead bodies for their stuff), provided I don't already have one of the things the enemy is carrying.  I'll also take their gold, or whatever nick knacks they're carrying that might be of use or valuable as far as selling.  If you haven't played it, and have interest, check it out on youtube to get a better scope of what you can do in the game.  It's pretty amazing, and this map is so huge it's unreal.  :)  Very similar to Fallout 3.  

So it's been in the single digits as far as temperature the past couple days.  Talk about cold.

Off work all week this week.  Kind of nice despite the deficit of money.  

Rehooked on skyrim.  I spent a big chunk of the day chopping fire wood (in the game) and decking out my house in whiterun.  It was kind of fun.  Then I got my ass kicked getting the info for delphine in solitude.  Went back to an older save and bought a bunch of minor healing potions to help with a second run...

Classes are going.  Nothing to mention special in nature there.  

Planning on driving an item to a friend from works tomorrow for him.  We'll see how that goes.  

My roommates had a little counseling session with a friend a couple days ago.  They're screaming at each other about something right now.  This made me realize what I missed out on in high school.  Not that I had a choice in the matter anyway.  They have real friends to consult when they have issues.  I never had any of this.  However, I haven't had any real friends in forever so a vast majority of day to day issues are non-existing.  I've never had a relationship so I never had to worry about what they're dealing with now.  I don't know how I should feel about this.  I'm finding myself becoming detached or something.  I've already mentioned that it seems abnormal to me when people, especially people of the same sex, talk on the phone and make plans.  It just seems weird because I've been left out of the loop for so long that I don't know anything besides being left out of the loop.  I don't understand a lot of things.  I suppose these are the consequences of my high school experience.  Again, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be feeling lonely, or if it's abnormal to not feel lonely in this situation.  God damn people suck.

Start classes again Monday.  Part of me is excited, but another is not so much.  It's funny how a long break seems to be going slow until it finally ends, and then it's over and it's like "where the fuck did it go?"

My interest in the game Skyrim was rekindled by watching the Hobbit a couple nights ago.  So I turn it on, truck through the mountain to high hrothgar (which was what prompted my standstill in that I had to start over due to a crashed ps3), and after doing the greybeard shit, I start pillaging everything I can (from bad guys that is) to save for a house in whiterun.  Sure enough, a new headache arose.  I stumbled into the wrong cave and contracted vampirism.  When you're a vampire, you're pretty much public enemy number one.  The first three days you're ok besides your blood boiling during the day and your strange thirst appearing at night, but come the third day you make the full change and you're attacked by most people on sight.  I'm gonna hang on to this game though.  I have saved game about a day before the official change, so I might live as a vampire in that one and eat people, and hell, maybe even find the cure (which involves a quest of course).  I did start another one as a Khajit, and named him Kitteh.  My other two games were played as nords, who seem to be the most newbie friendly.  The first one I don't remember what I named him, but the second one was named arrarok.  Yeah, I'm a douch bag. :P  I wanted to go just kitty with the khajit one but it wasn't skyrimmy enough, so I named it kitteh.  I still have a save with the vampire character before I've even reached the grey beards, so I might start a third one to mess with off of that.  I don't know.  We'll see.  School starts soon and I'm not sure how much time I'll have to play.  I highly suggest skyrim.  I bought the players guide today for emergency use only, for instance, when I contract vampirism and need to get rid of it.  However, it is a huge game, and very addicting, so play it wisely.  ;)  It's well worth the 60 bucks.

gaaaaaagh... now what